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I was thinking back recently on my role as a peer support specialist and its definition. When I started in the role, I researched it and I wasn’t really able to find a clear definition on the web. This was frustrating. After nine months and additional education, I thought I would share my thoughts on this role, why it exist, and most important, why it helps.

Peer Support was born out of a shift from a medical model of treatment to a recovery model for those who suffer mental illness and substance abuse. To understand this, we have to define the difference in the medical model and the recovery model.

The Medical Model is a supportive model when it comes to addressing symptoms. The patient has symptoms and medication is adjusted and additional therapy is offered until symptoms subside. The medical model definition of recovery or wellness is the patient no longer has symptoms so severe that it requires hospitalization or additional treatment. Now their is a problem with the medical model. Myself and many of my peers believe a definition of recovery is a appropriate satisfactory contentment in life(there’s more, but this is put into a very short sentence).

When I have recovery, I manage my symptoms better. So when questions are raised and emphasis is on how the patient will reintegrate back into society, the workforce, have better relationships, and self-manage stress is their environment, the medical model ask only “is the patient having symptoms?”.

The recovery model attempts to answer these other aspects that are just as vital to mental wellness and it is a closer definition than the medical model for me and many of my peers as to what recovery is. Components of the medical model are always a must for recovery, but the recovery model increases the ability to self-regulate and increases overall quality of life for myself and many of my peers.

That’s where we fit in as peer specialist. To understand what it is that we do takes me back to a time and another place in my life, not with a peer, but with a doctor(what?!).

The year was 2000 and I had just been released from the Norfolk regional center. My psychiatrist was a excellent. He was one of those doctors that you see and say to yourself “he is in the zone”. Patients loved him, staff loved him because he was so effective. At that time in my life, what gave me some relief from my symptoms was studying math and astrophysics. After a couple of visits, something happened that I couldn’t have dreamed of. My doctor told me astrophysics was also one of his hobbies! So when we had our weekly sessions, we discussed things time travel, black holes, and gravitation. For the brief period of time in his office I no longer had delusions, depression, the trauma from the loss of my old life, we were just 2 people talking(wow). I noticed that this feeling of wellness didn’t always leave when I walked out of his office, but would stay with me for a few days. He knew I was very sick and we would discuss meds and symptoms for short periods, but the focus was on something awesome. It was mutuality. Mutuality, the ability to relate to shared experiences of others.

Peers provide mutuality to the patient on a cognitive level of support and shared experiences that can also provide motivation and hope. Questions are answered on everything from our past recovery to starting a blog. Our role includes family sessions where explaining our experience with treatments that apply to us and doctor consultations where we can answer questions and share our insight on treatment. We also offer our views to coworkers without mental illness to assist them with their job.

The peer specialist position requires work and dedication. It is a calling for those of us who gains recovery by providing hope to others and reaching out in this way. Our duty is not only to our patients, but a general responsibility to promote wellness, advocacy, and recovery to those who encounter us in our role.

Keep it real, keep it true,

Rod

www.mentalhope.com

When I was working a made a decent salary I worked in a really tough business. I thought I had seen the worst of society. When I went on disability, I realized that just wasn’t the case . Recently I had a conversation with a peer who was domineering, arrogant, and demeaning. While this is not only a statement regarding there character, the sad truth is that many are already experiencing those relationships from there families and friends and they don’t need an additional stressor from a peer. While keeping in mind each path to recovery is different, part of recovery is remembering your own roots and struggles are faced by others and if it feels good for them when they think they have reached the top of the food chain, they are not only hurting others, they are delusional.

In my personal experience I have found in many cases the most down to earth people are the most successful at their job and at life like presidents and owners of large companies. While the many others can be extreamly kind and are good people, some just struggle and feed their own egos to no one muse but their own.

The challenge I put before you today: If you’re in recovery, are you a “bottom feeder” or are you willing willing to go that extra mile to help others. Because at the end of the day, mental illness is a war and when we help each other, don’t we really help ourself?

Keep it Real, Keep it True

Rod

www.mentalhope.com | rod@mentalhope.com | rss: http://rss.mentalhope.com

A couple of months ago I had lost a widget. You know that thing that is valuable to you and you need to always know where it’s at to maintain happiness in life. My widget is gone! It was depressing and all sorts of thoughts rushed through my head.

In recent years I have had a lot of different support systems, most negative. Why were they negative?They were dishonest, manipulative, and sometimes just mean. In the past my support systems may have just made fun of my situation, told me just to get over it, or worse, tried to feed into my paranoia to have greater control of my life. That was before I learned how to set up a positive support system( more info is on www.mentalhope.com link: support systems).

So I called my shinny new support system(based on positive models) and told them about my problem expecting the same ‘ol response or a few words on encouragement and “it will be ok” pat on the back kinda’ thing(sometimes it’s good to hear that to), but I was WRONG!!

Within one day, 2 people out of my support system was turning my apartment upside down helping me to find my widget. They didn’t question my suspicions nor critize me for my feelings. That didn’t care about finding my widget. They only had one agenda in mind. My well being. Within 1 hr they found what I had lost. The discovery that I had made was about wise decisions on who to let into my life and showed to be even a greater value than my widget and it’s something I hope I will never lose.

Keep it Real, Keep it True,

Rod

www.Mentalhope.com | rod@mentalhope.com | rss: http://rss.mentalhope.com

Mentalhope.com Hope and Recovery from Mental Illness.

As I sit here watching Winston gleefully playing in my paperwork which he does so with his masterful ability to randomize my organization on a level that you can only appreciate, I am blogging on a few new things added/changed to the Mentalhope site.

When the site first under went contruction, I was a little manic. I thought it would be up in a couple of weeks. That was Oct, 2006. Those of you who have mania can relate? The site started up and looked like crap. After the mania past, I thought I will just find some content from another site and cut and paste, do some visuals, and call it a day. I couldn’t do that in good conscious though. So the search began and a criteria developed for the site.

The things I thought the site should be were:

1) Unique content. Things that are at the base of recovery, but from a different perspective.

2) Easy to navigate. I know when I have been on higher doses of drugs and go to a complex site, I got frustratied and would move on to more inportant things like playing solitaire.

3) Interactive. A place to share that will respond and show respect to those who visit the site. A place to share and support not only folks in Omaha, but anywhere in the world.

4) Visually attractive. Nice but not so many bells and whistles that it takes forever and a day to load. 

The outcome is now thanks to you. You can see to some extent in this site my norm, mania, paranoia, and depression. Does this site belong to me? No. And it never will. It belongs to us. You and me. If you have any suggestions, I will listen. If you ever want to contribute, the door is open. If you want to tell your story, you will have your own page. I never had some lofty goal of doing a website. I just got the most precious gift in the world in that of recovery and hope and wanted to share it with the world. I mean even people without mental illness gets a hold of something that is good and they want to share it.

Some of the things we are adding on to the Mentalhope site is community pages to post mental health community events in your town. We are also adding a warm line if you just need to talk. I got the idea from the Spring Center here in Omaha where they have a telephone warm line. A chat room is also being added as well as a fun and games section.

In other breaking news: Winston is going to group therapy with me today. He is shy, but he likes to meet people and pet therapy is always nice. I am going to the park today. I need to get out of the house. Today I am a little frightened to do so other than going for coffee and for therapy. Sometimes I found if just do it, it helps with my symptoms.

If you want to visit some of the new stuff on www.mentalhope.com, go to www.mentalhope.com/Omaha. That’s the community page being set up for Omaha and entrance the chat room. Each town will have there own chat and then maybe do a chat room for everyone. If you want a chat room for your group(ie. AA, Schizophrenia Support, etc.), let me know.

On another note, the rss feed is now working! For those of you who wonder what the heck it is, it is kinda of a news feed and in this case gives a list of topics from the blog. I will have a link in the future for some good rss feed software.

Also while I think about it, if you would like your blog on the community page in your town let me know. It doesn’t have to be a wordpress blog(wordpress good :) ) , but we do have to set up a community page for your town.

The sun is shinning and its time for more coffee. Got to run.

Keep it real, keep it true,

Rod

www.Mentalhope.com | rod@mentalhope.com | rss: http://rss.mentalhope.com

Mentalhope.com Hope and Recovery from Mental Illness.
“While I was (manic or psychotic), I did _______”. War stories. We hear these stories all the time. In the past few years that I have been in the mental health system, I have heard that blank filled with all most everything, good and bad. So if I am either responsible or accountable for my actions, what is the third option, because it’s not my fault, is it? The answer is clearly yes. We can say that a mania, psychosis, or voices made us do something, but at the end of the day it is “I” who performed the action.

Does that make it fair? No, it isn’t fair, but having mental illness isn’t fair to start with either .

 

Radical acceptance. It means accepting a situation for what it is and moving on. When I first starting really trying to use radical acceptance a few years ago, it was difficult at best. It meant anything that happened good and bad couldn’t be “painted”, covered up, or changed. It meant accepting a situation for what it is. It was an important growth step for me. In the past couple of years, it’s a vital component of my recovery.

 

How does radical acceptance apply? While some of the time we can make restitution for by giving money back or replacing a broken item, in many cases, feelings can never mend. So what can I do if I hurt someone else? How can I make things better? Well, sometimes you can’t make it better and that’s when a situation has to be “radically accepted” for what it is and move on.

 

So what steps should I take if I have done something wrong due to my mental illness?

     

  • Admit it. I have seen so many excuses for those that have hurt others, mentally ill or not. Taking responsibility and saying “I screwed up” is the first step.

     

  • Apologize. Saying “I’m sorry” goes along way and can speak volumes about someones character.

     

  • Make things right. If that means a few less trips out for coffee because you were psychotic and you thought your magical shoes can allow you to dance on air and you end up breaking your parents mirror laying on the floor in the basement, you need to make restitution.

 

After you done all the above, you should respect yourself for accepting responsibility for your illness and the it’s time to move on.

 

I guess maybe that’s one of the reasons my recovery is so important to me. I know that everyone around me is affected by my illness, and it’s a higher responsibility we have than other illnesses to be well. Because at the end of the day, it’s all of my actions that count and it’s my choice to skip my meds, not go to therapy, or to ignore advice from my support system. It’s my responsibility, not their’s.

 

Keep it real, keep it true,

Rod

www.mentalhope.com | rod@mentalhope.com | rss: http://rss.mentalhope.com

 

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Mentalhope.com Hope and Recovery from Mental Illness.
Recently, we have a new addition to the Mentalhope family. His name is Winston(never to be used as a future password). I have been wanting a pet for years, but if I had only known what a joy that this fuzzy shedding animal brings, I would have done this a long time ago. I thought for introductions it might be a good idea for Winston to have his own blog today. So here it goes. For the first time in history, here’s the world’s first cat blog:

Human Mental Health and Me: A Cat’s Perspective

Hi, I’m Winston. I’m Rod’s cat. I find Rod is a well trained human. He shows affection, feeds me, and cleans my litter box on a regular basis. He has obivously under went rigious trainning or may have even been married before. Rod always introduces me to his female company, but then shows affection toward them and not me. I think I understand why, but this is a source for another blog.

Rod is eccentric. By that I mean he is a little different than other humans I had previously observed. He says he has schizoaffective disorder. After careful consideration of this human term, I have decided it obviously means ”cat entertainment”.  Rod paces a lot. I mean sometimes for hours. I watch him pace attentively until I go to sleep. I wonder if this makes me a co-dependent cat. Sometimes I will join him in pacing. I somestimes fall on my back in front of him, paws up, blocking his way. Rod stops, laughs, and smiles. He then usually stops pacing and joins me on the couch where he blogs, works on websites, checks email, and of course, shows me more affection.            

“He says he has schizoaffective disorder. After careful consideration of this human term, I have decided it obviously means “cat entertainment”. ”

Rod talks to me a lot. Rod talks to himself. Sometimes I really can’t tell which he is doing so I just pretend to pay attention as not to let him think I don’t care. I always raise my ears when a there is a noise in the apartment. He then knows the difference when he is hearing things and they are real. I like it when he scratches  under my chin and my back. He is a little obsessive with cat toys, buying me every toy known to catkind. I have noticed he doesn’t sleep a lot, but that sits fine with me at night because it gives me more play time with him and of course,  a chance to get more affection.

Well, I think this sums up my perspective on human mental health regarding Rod. I currently don’t have a degree in psychology so I still have a lot to learn about mental illness. He given me a email address if you will like to contact me. It is winston@mentalhope.com or keep in touch for my future blogs.

——————————->>end of cat blog<<————————————-

Well, there you have it.  The worlds first cat blog. For those of you that are cynics, I am not delusional, but just using a little humor for an expression of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. Winston did help with this blog though. He provided me insight with his soothing, loving, and playful mannor to write this blog. PS: His email is real…. :) )

Keep it Real,

Rod

Keep it true,

Winston

www.mentalhope.com | rod@mentalhope.com | winston@mentalhope.com | rss: http://rss.mentalhope.com

Mentalhope.com Hope and Recovery from Mental Illness.

 A Friend of a Friend

 ”I am there for you…… when the rain starts to fall…”—-That’s the theme from friends. I am reminded that when my other friends is showing symptoms of mental illness alot of rain can come down. I mean it’s a thunderstorm. Why are my friends so important? Is it because they give me support? I think that point of view is somewhat superficial and it goes much deeper than that.

Before my recovery a couple of years ago, I really didn’t have strong friendships. I was always paranoid. I kept any friendship at a distance because of a deep seeded fear of some conspiracy that I would be betrayed in some horrible and  unspeakable way. When I tried to commit suicide, a close friend saved my life. Wow. Someone without motivation or reward came to my aid. Why??? The answer was revealing. They cared about me. This brings me to a good point. So why did I get hurt so bad when I did on occassion put my trust in a relationship,  and not by others who I didn’t have strong friendships with and they cared about me? Then the answer hit me in the head like a 2×4. Trust models, hmmm……huh?

Trust what? Models of what? A guideline of how embrace positive relationships while distancing myself from those that are negative and can do me harm. And did this make a difference in my recovery? Uh, yeah, yeppers, yes!!!

I began to look at my previous friendships and create zones. The trusted zone is for those that are clear thinkers, those that support healthy choices, and the ones who advocate for me and my well being. Others that wish to be friends go into a distance zone. These types of relationships will remain casual.  Sometimes someone will increase to a trusted zone and sometimes they are moved to a casual zone.  Sometimes you just have to cut off all contact all together.

Have I made bad decisions on where I moved someone? Yes I have, and if you use this model, a time will come when you may too. I do find this is effective when setting up support systems and I have made some of the best friends I have ever had. Because when “the rain falls”, you want a true friend there.

Your friend,

Rod

www.mentalhope.com | rod@mentalhope.com | rss: http://rss.mentalhope.com

Mentalhope.com Hope and Recovery from Mental Illness.

Today is a celebration of love. Valentine’s day. The problem is this emotion called love is said to be by many professionals as close to mental illness as many people will ever get.  I for many reasons agree with this theory. Having suffered with mental illness for years and being in love a few times, I see some parallels in these behaviors.

For those of you who have no mental illness, have you ever ask yourself, “why did I do that for him/her”? I bet you have. For those of us in the world of mental illness, we would call this mania. It’s is a powerful force that makes us feel on top of the world. Hmmmm…. sounds like love to me so far. Why do we do things we regret when we’re in love? It’s because when we think with emotion, we decrease in logic proportionally. Which brings me to a good point. What happens when someone who doesn’t always use “good logic” because of mental illness falls in love? Well, I have had the joy of falling in love under almost every scenario. Mania, paranoia, depression(love is a temp cure), and last but not least, good ol’ psychosis. What I find is revealing. The relationship in many cases is more enjoyable when I am manic or psychotic. 

I mean think about it. When you are extreamly paranoid, you tend to look for distractions just to break from what ever your paranoid about. When your depressed, you want to do anything to bring you up. When your manic, you can often latch on to the lowest form of life on the face of this planet and think you’re on top of the world. And when your psychotic, well,  you could start a relationship with a bowl of spaghetti and plan a family of meatballs.

The relationships I have enjoyed the most were the ones where I was “undercover”(I mean hmm…. as in undercover agent). I fall in love easy. Always have. That brings me to my next point. Even though we have this thing called mental illness, that doesn’t absolve us from from the same ol’ boring dynamics of a “normal relationships”.  That means you have to endure all the joys of hearing boring stories, fighting, enduring weird hang ups, hanging out in social settings with people you don’t know, saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, and last but not least, sharing farts. The bowl of spaghetti looks better and better.

So I have to think love and mental illness go hand in hand. In the past, women have been in love with my illness(mania and psychotic behavior) and not with me. Why do say this you ask? Cause after I come down or become sane, they would avoid me like a bad case of anthrax. Now I must confess the reverse is true. I have been in manic or psychotic  for a while and then suddenly realized I have been enjoying a relationship with someone that would peg the crap-o-meter.  But the interesting part of this grim discovery is many of friends WITHOUT mental illness have been in love and experienced the same thing.

I guess part of love is acceptance, and what someone has to accept from me due to my mental illness is a little more than that of others. I guess that means they have to love me a lot. Aacceptance and love does have its’ boundaries. It’s being able to enjoy each others affection within those boundaries while you continue to grow and change defines love weather your mentally ill or not.

Happy Valentine’s Day,…… Phyllis

Rod

rod@mentalhope.com

www.mentalhope.com

rss: www.rss.mentalhope.com

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Mentalhope.com Hope and Recovery from Mental Illness.

Today is a special day!

 

Nosce te ipsum. That’s Latin for know thyself. I am a bonafide geek. We know these things. As I have grown over the years, knowing me is paramount to my existence because to set realistic goals and learn to enjoy socializing(usually a chore), I have to know who I am. That for me is a major component in my recovery and when I stray away trying to be something I’m not, I lose my focus. I lose hope.

 

Today I ran a little over a mile and a half. Today I worked out. My friends who live here in Omaha think I am nuts for running in 30 degree weather. I was running sometimes a little over 13 miles a week just before my surgery last year. After the surgery, I was extremely depressed and have lingered in this darkness that falls on those that have lost their path due to the beast. I have felt this pain before over the years and it’s never fun. But today some changed. Biochemical they say, but today is a little different.

 

I am a reader. I read and study everything. Ask any of my friends. But today I reminded myself that out of all the medication insert leaflets I have ever read(always entertaining for the paranoid), I have never read about a medication taking away my ability to choose my path, take away my freedom, or steal my right to survive, to thrive. Out of all the books I ever read about mental illness, I missed the chapter on how I have no choice but to believe the voices, live in defeat, lost to wallow in a void.

 

Today I ran and worked out because it was what I needed to do in order to best take of me. The weather told me not to. My shrink and therapist would tell me I’m crazy. My friends, well to be honest, my friends are never surprised at anything I do. The voices said I can’t. I smoke. I’m not suppose to run. I’m on respriadol, cymbalta, valium. You just can’t do that. You know what? I did. Some would even relish in my failure. I just don’t care. I ran today because I wanted to and after I did, I remembered.

 

Today I ran, worked out, and I remembered what I am, who I am. Recognizing all my faults(easy when your depressed), I must recognize my strengths. Today I ran and worked out because that was the best medicine for me. Know thyself… I can overcome obstacles, pain, and voices. I will actively seek goals using my judgment as to what is best because at the end of the day, it’s not my psychiatrist, therapist, friends, enemies, that choose my path, it’s just me.

 

Today MY WILL was forged by fire of that of Iron and Steel. Today, my course is steady and straight. My will would not be bent and broken. I stand strong. Today is a victory. Today, I ROCKED! It won’t be in any history books and ever be spoken about. Who cares? On this day, I kicked my mental illness in the rear and this victory will never be taken away and this gives me strength for tomorrow.

 

Remember, WE STAND STRONG AS ONE.

 

Keep it Real, keep it True,

 

Rod

 

rod@mentalhope.com

www.mentalhope.com

 

PS: I would like to thank those of you who visit this site daily and weekly. Hopefully, after the next time the “googlebots” roam my website, it will be a little easier to find. It’s been screwed up for the past few weeks.

 

Well, depression seems to be appropriate theme to work on with the website. Does anyone have any blue pills? >>Guess you didn’t see the movie “The Matrix” .

Take Care,

Rod

rod@mentalhope.com

www.mentalhope.com

Today I’m attempting to complete the Mentalhope project. Today the depression makes it like moving through molasses. I have to remember why I started Mentalhope. It was because I realized one of the factors when I am in a mental health crisis, I lose hope. I began thinking about all the stories I heard from my peers over the years and that loss of hope seems to be a common denominator. Hope gives strength. This encouraged me begin two websites, Godhope.com and Mentalhope.com.

Godhope.com was created for any religion for the purpose of those who have lost faith due to loss of a loved one, terminal illness, or other tragedy that can strike, mame our spirit, and rob us of hope. The creation of Mentalhope.com was to provide hope through recovery. Promoting recovery models for mentally ill and useful information for those who are recently diagnosed with mental illness. I realized recently with creation of these sites warrants a degree of responsibility. 

After starting both sites, the “googlebot” put me on the search engines and the next thing I knew people were coming to my sites from all over the world. Searching on keywords like spirit, recovery, hope, faith, pain, triumph.  As of this date, Mentalhope as had 224 unique visitors and Godhope has received over 600 unique visitors and many come in search of the same thing. Hope. Looking at things through this mindset, I must remember that these sites don’t care if they are not completed, but the people that visit do.

I am dedicating this comming week to completing Mentalhope. One foot in front of another, right? Yep. Maybe completed isn’t the right word becuse as I am simply a work in progress, ever evolving, so will be these websites. I will do my best.

Take Care,

Rod

rod@mentalhope.com

www.Mentalhope.com

  

 In recent months, I severed  relationships with my best friend, my now divorced wife, and a couple of others along the way. It was just a couple of years ago that I would have accepted their behavior and took what ever they did until I went psychotic. But there’s a new person walking in these shoes. A person rebuilt out of recovery. A person that still believes and has faith, ever enduring a severe depression, that I will survive and grow strong again.

  This week finished my training to become a facility trainer for a program called WRAP. It is the Wellness Recovery Action Plan developed by Mary Ellen Copeland for the propose of offering a simple systematic recovery model to any citizen suffering from mental illness. The program evolves only the personal responsibility that each of us have who suffer from mental illness to recover to the best of our ability.  The cost is very little for a WRAP seminar while the benefits for many, if not most, are amazing. For futher information about this program, the website is www.mentalhealthrecovery.com .

  I hope you can join with me in a recovery program where you live. The most powerful gift from recovery that I received was the ability to take charge in my personal decisions and responsibility over my own life. After all, my life belongs to me and not the professionals or my paranoia that once ruled it. 

Take Care,

Rod

rod@mentalhope.com

www.mentalhope.com

 Welcome! This is a place to share in recovery and growth. This site is to all that have or are suffering and seeking hope. It is also a place to share in your triumph over mental illness and a place to share your story of hope and recovery, or how you gained strength through your own crisis.

   I hope you find something benefical from www.Mentalhope.com and this blog. If you would like to have your story of hope published on Mentalhope.com, send a email to: mystory@mentalhope.com.

May your higher power richly bless your soul,

Rod