Besides being a peer specialist, I do web design. I was a little bummed on Friday because there was a lame attempt from a competitor to link this blog to my business. They get CLASS A SCUM ratings from me as that’s dirty and it’s low, and without any class. Soooo am considering moving the Mentalhope blog for that reason.  It has nothing to do with my world view on mental illness, but the stigma that still exist perpetuated from dredges like this in our society, and there’s more.

For years I wore a label on my chest proudly. A label that said I have Mental Illness. The label that said “treat me differently”, treat me special”, “walk on egg shells”.  But one day I got really really sick. Sick to death of wearing that label of stigma and I ripped it off my chest, and instantly in a split-second I became a citizen. A citizen of Nebraska, and these United States.

At first it was hard not wearing that label. That means that judgments of me was based on just being a person, and when something happened that stressed me, I couldn’t fall back on that excuse that said “you have mental illness, don’t they understand?”

Some of my web design clients may think I have eccentricities(like obsession with web design :p), but none has ever accused me of a having mental illness(even though it might show), and I have never been fired by a client, not a single one. I have had many good conversations with them though, and most seem to be proud to have me work with them.

I’m the best in my field because of my recovery. I have done something my competition will never be able to do. I have waited on a bus in the cold after hearing voices all night and went to meet my therapist.  Every ounce of my being told me to give up while I waited on that bus. Rushing through my head was my past pain from the “big lie” of stigma, but I got on that bus. On that day, I was doing what 95% that the population of this country could not or would do including my competitors in web design. I was in recovery, and at that moment I was not trying to be the best, I was the best. I put my heart and soul into my work and it’s not building a great website that will define who I am, but those moments.

I ‘m not a web designer with mental illness, but just a web designer that’s the best in the industry, and this is what I do.

PS: the Mentalhope project will eventually be back on the rails. I have just been too busy with my work as a peer specialist and building websites.

Keep it Real,

Keep it True,

Rod

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