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“While I was (manic or psychotic), I did _______”. War stories. We hear these stories all the time. In the past few years that I have been in the mental health system, I have heard that blank filled with all most everything, good and bad. So if I am either responsible or accountable for my actions, what is the third option, because it’s not my fault, is it? The answer is clearly yes. We can say that a mania, psychosis, or voices made us do something, but at the end of the day it is “I” who performed the action.

Does that make it fair? No, it isn’t fair, but having mental illness isn’t fair to start with either .

 

Radical acceptance. It means accepting a situation for what it is and moving on. When I first starting really trying to use radical acceptance a few years ago, it was difficult at best. It meant anything that happened good and bad couldn’t be “painted”, covered up, or changed. It meant accepting a situation for what it is. It was an important growth step for me. In the past couple of years, it’s a vital component of my recovery.

 

How does radical acceptance apply? While some of the time we can make restitution for by giving money back or replacing a broken item, in many cases, feelings can never mend. So what can I do if I hurt someone else? How can I make things better? Well, sometimes you can’t make it better and that’s when a situation has to be “radically accepted” for what it is and move on.

 

So what steps should I take if I have done something wrong due to my mental illness?

 

• Admit it. I have seen so many excuses for those that have hurt others, mentally ill or not. Taking responsibility and saying “I screwed up” is the first step.

 

• Apologize. Saying “I’m sorry” goes along way and can speak volumes about someones character.

 

• Make things right. If that means a few less trips out for coffee because you were psychotic and you thought your magical shoes can allow you to dance on air and you end up breaking your parents mirror laying on the floor in the basement, you need to make restitution.

 

After you done all the above, you should respect yourself for accepting responsibility for your illness and the it’s time to move on.

 

I guess maybe that’s one of the reasons my recovery is so important to me. I know that everyone around me is affected by my illness, and it’s a higher responsibility we have than other illnesses to be well. Because at the end of the day, it’s all of my actions that count and it’s my choice to skip my meds, not go to therapy, or to ignore advice from my support system. It’s my responsibility, not their’s.

 

Keep it real, keep it true,

Rod

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